Exciting Changes for Team Z


We are so excited to share the news that God has graced us with another baby boy who will be joining our family in early November!

Many of you know our story and have played a part in our journey, but this is my seventh pregnancy and to have the opportunity to receive this baby boy into our family is a gift we don’t take for granted.

From the beginning, this little one has reminded me of so many truths I struggle to grasp when it comes to hope. I’ve always been the type to want to make a creative announcement to Jimmy when I find out I’m pregnant. We’ve had t-shirts, Starbucks cups, a bottle of champagne sent to his hotel room when he was away on business and I didn’t think I could contain the news until he returned…we’ve done it all. Even with full knowledge of the reality of our circumstances around fertility, excitement always seemed to win out over fear…until this time.

This time I just stood in front of two pink lines on a stick and as grateful as I was for my new reality, for the first time, I felt more fear than excitement. We were preparing to go skiing that day as a family. Knowing I couldn’t wait to tell Jimmy, I scribbled a note on a card I had probably bought for a baby shower that said “Tiny Miracle” on the front. I was writing just as much to myself as I was writing to him. 

I want to share a portion of that note with you:

“I know we are both going to be tempted to protect ourselves—to adopt that line from the musical Wicked, “wishing only wounds the heart” and keep ourselves from hope by practicing disappointment instead. For me personally, this is the first time I feel more fear than excitement. But I know without a doubt that we still have a reason to hope because we have Jesus and we are not alone. We get to hope together. And this little life growing inside me is a gift that deserves our hope.”

In many ways, hope can feel like opening the door to heartache. Often, I find myself practicing disappointment to prepare myself for the worst. But I’ve learned the hard way (many times) that this strategy guarantees the very pain I am trying so hard to avoid. 

Scripture is clear that it is  “a good idea to hope for help from God.” (Lamentations 3:26 MSG), not because of what we will receive, but Who we receive regardless of the outcome. I can say very honestly that as raw as my feelings have been throughout this season of hope and longing, all seven of my babies’ stories have drawn me closer to my Father and taught me something new about His character and the relationship between the two of us. While I always have and will continue to long and pray for one conclusion, I’ve learned that there are blessings to be found in either outcome.

I’ve found a relationship with many of you through the conversation of infertility or loss of some kind. I pray that no matter what circumstances you find yourself in on the far side of hope, you feel the Father’s comfort, knowing the kind of peace and joy that can only come from Him.

We are overwhelmed with gratitude for this little boy.  Thank you for your prayers and for celebrating with us in this season!

Nicole Zasowski